Batman Begins

Starring: Christian Bale, Liam Neeson, Michael Kane, Katie Holmes, Gary Oldman, Ken Watanabe
Director: Christopher Nolan (Memento, Insomnia)

By now, everyone knows the story.
Rich kid gets orphaned by armed robber in alley.
Has aversion to winged rodents.
Never actually gets over it and dresses in tights beating up on crooks.

And yet this is the second time in the series they tell us how Bruce Wayne becomes Batman. I'm sure there's a marketing reason for this (connecting with a new audience etc) but the reason it got made at all is because there's a built in fan base. I mean, it's Batman.

Action-wise, it's the best Batman yet. That Batmobile is badass. The previous ones were all stylish but couldn't do squat except rocket down conveniently straight alleys (one movie actually has it rocket up a fucking building). But this. This is the only Batmobile, the only Batman movie for that matter to have actual chase scenes. Crashing-into-things-live-footage-from-the-news-crew-on-a-helicopter type chase scenes. It's like World's Craziest Police Videos with a ma-fuckin' tank.

Look wise, it's also the least cheesy looking Batman. Gotham's nicely decaying and corrupt and the villains are actually villainous for once, not some Halloween rubber rejects (nice work with the Scarecrow, guys).

Now for the bad bits.

The whole becoming Batman phase feels like the first third of the show. It was way draggy. And too much on the Bats. Ok! They're scary! So he becomes a bat! We geddit!

Christian Bale starts raging and changing his voice every time he gets in a crook's face. Batman is supposed to be cynical. Sneaky. Suspicious. Calculating. Calm.

And this part to me, is tough to forgive. Bats gets his weapons from Morgan Freeman? Doesn't that mean anyone with enough moolah can be Batman? C'mon, Batman makes his own stuff!

Big name guys with no big roles. Liam Neeson doing the mentor thing. Morgan Freeman doing the mentor thing, doing Q in James Bond. Gary Oldman as a cop who doesn’t do much. And Ken Watanabe’s character isn’t even a role – it’s a cameo.

The right look, the right players, the right gadgets, just not the right combination.

But I’m going out and buying me one of those Batmobiles. I’m sure Hasbro makes them. That thing is badass.